Today is a day …

Well, today is the first day of my transition period from smoker to non-smoker. I’ll be in this stage for quite some time as I’ve got to get used to doing things a bit different from now on. Rather than coffee in the morning I shall have to drink tea. Rather than taking a break from chores, homework, etc. to smoke, I will have to either forego the break entirely or take a break to stretch, breathe or go for a walk. I won’t consider myself a non-smoker until I’m able to go at least a week with no cigarettes and no nicotine replacement (i.e. patches, electronic cigarettes, etc.). It’s going to be hell on heels, too because we all know the Devil Wears Prada.

To answer your question, yes, I have smoked cigarettes today, but I’m down from a pack-a-day habit last year to about six cigarettes I’ve smoked today. Being “sensitive” to medications, I’m reluctant to put on a patch tonight as I’ve no cigarettes left since I have smoked today, so cold turkey the rest of the day it is. Well, there is that stuff I bought at the health food store, and clove bud essential oil from my home-based business seems to help as well. Goddess grant me the serenity to be peaceful during this transition period. For the sake of my family and my boyfriend’s sanity, please let this go well.

In other news, I haven’t written for several days now as I’ve been down for the count. In an effort to relieve the stress that is my life, I’ve been working through some issues (c’mon, we all got ’em, even you) and I think now the stress is somewhat under control, my body kind of gave up fighting. I woke up Saturday morning, the morning I was to go for my first hike with my training partner and friend, Jen, with sinuses full of gunk, earaches, achy, headache and WHINY. Poor Bill (that’d be the boyfriend I speak of).

When I woke feeling so awful, it took a minute to shake the sickness off for a brief period to remember that I’d forgotten my vitamins not just one day, but three. So, I choked down some yogurt, grabbed a jug of water, popped one dose of vitamins into my mouth and choked them down as well. Then I laid around watching TV, ignoring my laundry that was yelling “do me” from down in the deep, dank basement and spent the day alternating between that not-quite-sleeping state, poking around on facebook and a couple of TV shows.

Yesterday, I woke feeling just slightly better, only now not only did I have the previous symptoms, I also had a sore throat, swollen glands and my legs were complaining from not being used and abused as they had for four days previous. Terrific. So I rubbed Deep Blue into my muscles in my legs, Breathe on my neck, chest and under my nose and then I poured myself a cup of On-Guard tea and took another dose of vitamins and laid on the couch again. I dosed a bit, I computed a bit and I drank some more On-Guard tea. All-in-all yesterday, I took three doses of vitamins and four cups of On-Guard tea. I am feeling slightly better (I’m operating at about 50%) today other than that impending doom one feels when making any major change in their life … like becoming a non-smoker.

Well, with any luck, a little magic, a little ancient medicine and a lot of hope, love, studying and support, I’ll get through the upcoming semester at school not only with a higher cumulative GPA but also a little leaner, a little more in shape, a little more peaceful and a whole lot healthier and happier. Peace and blessings on all of our supporters, and as always, I thank ya!

~Krista

Ugh …. this is harder than I thought

This journey, especially the mental part could prove to be the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. The mental and emotional damage I personally can do to myself is quite enough and sometimes I allow people to help damage me further with comments that I should just ignore but have a hard time ignoring.

Today I was reminded yet again that I hold people entirely too close. I got bit. Again. Over something entirely stupid. I’m tired of trying to explain myself nor do I feel the need to. I am who I am and if you don’t know me, then you shouldn’t publicly post your opinion. Especially if I’ve gone out of my way to help you on a journey that I fought tooth and nail to take with no one helping or giving me information. I do what I do to protect myself and my family from people who could cause us harm, whether knowingly or unknowingly. That’s all anyone needs to know. Oh well. Yet another lesson learned.

On a brighter note. Today I was able to reconnect with an old friend just as I did yesterday. Thank the Goddess today for honesty, because both of these gals are honest to a fault. Just like me. I’ve missed them both, horribly. I’m so glad to reconnect.

Also today, I was able to walk just over a mile with Jen. We didn’t bike as with most exercise programs, you should do no more than 3 days in a row before taking a break or changing it up. So we walked today, and decided tomorrow is break day. Saturday, we’ll go out to the Bears Paw Mountains, possibly with a sample pack to try and go for a hike. I’m so taking my camera, some snacks and all the negativity I’ve experienced from people trying to tear me down and make me absolutely nuts this week and I’m leaving it there.

I hope this finds all of our followers and supporters well. Don’t mean to post such a downer post. Just needed to vent and get my head right and refocus, I guess. Many blessings on you all!

~Krista ❤

Day of decision, productivity and more!

It’s almost time to go for my nightly bike ride with my “encouragement coach/personal trainer” Jen. I thought I’d do something different and write BEFORE the ride so I wasn’t quite as tired (although I think I’m much funnier when intoxicated by lack of sleep :P)

Woke this morning to the wind howling through my room as we had the window wide open. Brrrr. Got up started the coffee, did my bathroom routine and when I walked by the thermostat to go out on the porch for my morning constitution with coffee and smokes I almost died … 62 degrees. Fall is coming … I think. But as they say, wait 10 minutes if you don’t like the weather in Montana, because it will certainly change.

I had a bit of a headache, and some achiness in my body from the years of almost inactivity getting worked out by Jen and my children. Kinda felt a little poopy from the day of agitation, stress and anxiety yesterday because of a situation that has now been handled and just basically didn’t wanna do jack squat! But I turned on some tunes, read a few pages in one of my “spiritual” books, applied peppermint oil to the back of my neck and forehead and some deep blue oil in some of the achy spots, and eventually set myself to work. Soon after, I got a call that my laptop is ready to be picked up from the V.R. office (they’re assisting me with my school funding this year since I’ve got an old injury that won’t stop) and I was so excited I almost dropped what I was doing to go get it. Thankfully I got my bearings and remembered my Plan for the Day and got back to work.

Now, as I sit here typing away, my “to-do” list from yesterday AND today is almost finished (I did NOTHING yesterday due to said situation and my anxiety about handling it), dinner is done, my desk and one bookshelf nice and neat and I feel ready to tackle that mountainous task of getting in shape one day at a time. I’m still calm, I still have tasks to complete, but I feel so good compared to this time last week. I am so glad this “journey” we are taking — Tawny and me — isn’t just a hike for me, but a reward for accomplishing a new way of life.

Blessings friends, and again, thanks for the love and support for us both. I appreciate it and YOU 🙂

Second time’s better?

This journey I’ve begun is amazing. I can’t believe in just six days of journaling using prompts from Blessings Manifesting, keeping control of my home, clutter and “stuff” with the FlyLady and beginning an exercise program that I feel this way. I’m calmer, more clear and concise when I speak and my anxiety level has plummeted. I used to laugh a lot, and I still do, but I laugh much, much more. It’s insane! It’s also helping me to reconnect with my kids, who I think are seriously trying to kill their mother!

Today, my pal Jen came to pick us up for our bike ride, and I thought we wouldn’t be able to go for as long or hard today because my dear children had to join us since my love was at work tonight. Uh, I must’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a child because not only did we go further, faster AND harder, we rode longer. We went from my home four blocks east, two blocks south, then north two blocks and then four blocks west back past our home. Then we continued riding four more blocks west and then 10 blocks south and back again (are you confused yet? I am!). It equaled probably about two miles, 45 minutes and we were pedaling hard so we didn’t get caught in the storm that was beginning. Whew! I’m beat and ready to go to sleep, but here’s my little sweettarts (sometimes they’re sweet, sometimes sour, ya know?!) upstairs playing away, even though they’re supposed to be getting ready for bed … If only I could steal some of their energy!

We got done with the bike ride, all grabbed jugs of water and re-hydrated and all I could do is look at them and smile, and when they asked me “What’s up, Doc?” I just got tears in my eyes and said, “Thank you.” They all three snuggled up to me and said, “We’ll get you ready for your trip!”

Moments like these when we remember why we LOVE our children. Blessings all, that’s all for tonight. Time for my nightly Mitual (my “me” ritual), getting my sweettarts off to bed and picking up my love, but not necessarily in that order (Told you I was tired!)

~Krista

First preparation workout — ugh!

Today is a day I’ve begun a new journey to a new me. Ok, so the journey began a few days ago (five to be exact) when I joined a woman named Dominee on Twitter and signed up for her Blessings Manifesting 2-week journaling challenge. I thought, since I agreed to do this hike that I better get my attitude in order or I’d never make it. Today I took the plunge for the first time since agreeing to do the hike and went for my first bike rides … which is a recommended activity for hiker training.

Look at the picture I attached, read the caption, and laugh, because we all know it’ll get better, but how disheartening … 30 minutes is all I could go, my legs felt like jelly afterward and I couldn’t breathe. Better become a non-smoker ASAP. The first thought was, “Oh my Goddess, I’m never gonna make it.” Then I immediately chastised myself for that thought because it’s not a healthy one, according to my Blessings Manifesting Journey.

So instead today, I shall celebrate the fact I was victorious in getting on my bike, pedaling like a mad woman for 30 minutes, sweating like a pig and breathing like I was … umm, yeah let’s just save that thought. Not safe for workplace viewing 😛

Happy trails folks!